Placebo Read online

Page 9


  As much as Ophelia starts to hurt, she keeps telling herself that she is embedded in a life or death situation. The shaking builds, but she knows that she must fight it. Locking the door to her room, she lights another cigarette as she paces from wall to wall, waiting for the call from Mark. Taking deep drags from her smoke, she paces while she gazes at the drawer that holds her hit. She tells herself a tiny taste is all she needs; a tiny taste will set her straight from where she is now. However it is never a small taste for her. That small taste always grows from less than a gram to a full gram. From 99

  a full gram, she will cook two grams and shoot them with the greatest of ease. For Ophelia, enough is hardly ever enough to keep her satisfied.

  As she lies down on her bed, she stares at the ceiling, pulling hard drags from her cigarette. Sadly, no matter how much she tries to fight it, she finds herself sitting up and preparing to cook up what she has left for a quick ingestion.

  Trying to convince herself, she says, "All I need is a little to calm myself, I'll save the res for later…" There is no truth in this kind of speak. What she tries to save for later becomes her next dose in less than an hour. This is how it goes for her, the ever moving bullet train that she finds herself chasing—

  never fulfilling by a thirst ever-lasting.

  Matt parks in the driveway of a different house on the same street where Emma lives. It is a house that is no longer occupied with a foreclosure sign in the front yard. He walks down the street and cuts around to the side of Emma’s house.

  Coming up to the screened in back porch, he opens the tin door slowly and walks inside. Taking his time, Matt walks over to the sliding glass door and eases it open. Wearily, he creeps inside and steps into the living room, sliding the door shut behind him with care. Peering around his surroundings, he spots the hallway and makes his way towards it. His instincts tell him that Emma's room is somewhere close as he sneaks through the quiet house, moving through the dark hallway.

  Coming to the bathroom, he nudges the semi-closed door open. Moving on to the other rooms, he comes to Kelly's closed door. Giving the knob a twist, he applies the slightest amount of pressure and pushes it open. With a quick look around, he knows that it is not Emma's room. Closing the door behind him softly, he moves to the next room across the hall. Turning the door knob, he pushes his way through the entrance with caution. Stepping into her room, he sees her 100

  sleeping in her bed; resting in content. Matt closes the door behind him softly without taking his eyes away from her.

  The door latches into its hinges as Matt walks over to her desk chair and takes seat. He watches her sleep as the sun light attempts to penetrate her thick, dark curtains. Reclining in her chair, he runs his finger through the top of his scalp as she slightly tosses and turns in her slumber. Matt looks on, lusting over her vulnerable beauty, knowing he could do anything to her in this moment and get away with it. Glaring into her sealed eyes, he imagines himself cutting a hole into her and having his way with it. Morbid visions dance within his mind as he fantasizes his would-be actions with her helpless body.

  Suddenly her eyes open to see him sitting before her, forcing her to sit up in her bed. "Matt, what are you doing here?!" she asks with startled concern.

  "I missed you," he responds as he lights a cigar.

  Rubbing her eyes, Emma retorts, "But you can't be here…"

  "Why not?" Matt exhales with the smoke.

  Emma answers, "You just can't… my mom's in her room and my sister is…"

  "Not here." he says, cutting her off with his tone of arrogance.

  "But…"

  "Don't worry about it."

  As Emma tries to catch up to her racing thoughts, Matt continues, "We're damn near alone here and I just wanted to check on you… is that so wrong?"

  Taken by his seemingly caring candor, Emma drops her guard, "No," she replies with a smile.

  Taking a puff from his stogie, he says, "Get dressed… I'll take you out for somethin' to eat."

  Sighing she says, "I'm tired… can you come by later without breaking into my house?"

  101

  "First off, I didn't break in… and no, come with me now or I'm goin' by myself."

  Emma falls back into her bed and sighs, "Alright… let me get dressed!"

  Sitting back in her chair, he watches her slide out of bed and get dressed. Matt gets off knowing that he can talk Emma into doing anything that he wishes. With a grin, he watches her get dressed at his will. He takes great pride in barging in on her and bending her to his bidding. Bearing a sick smile across his face he knows that he has her right where he wants her. She will do anything that he asks, whenever he asks her to do so. The games that rest in his mind are endless and she is there merely as a piece of meat to be toyed with.

  Most girls would wonder how he got into their sanctuary, while Emma grins and morphs herself to what he wants.

  Without question, she does as she is told and follows his every command. No matter how tired she is, she does as he says and slips on her boots with sleep deprived actions. The need of sleep rides her every movement as she gets herself together for him. Her need to be whisked away by her prince overrides any fears that she should have in this moment.

  Emma finds a twisted form of romance in Matt's barging in on her to take her to breakfast. She does not pose the questions that she should. Taken by the spontaneity of the situation, she plays along with an ignorant smile.

  The two leave by way of the front door while Ophelia is laid up in her room. Focused on her high, she does not hear the commotion going on in the front of her house. Matt and Emma slip out of the front door without detection while Ophelia momentarily slips away. As Matt makes his way to his car, Emma shuts and locks the door behind her. Getting into his car as Emma tries to catch up, he turns the key as the Foo Fighter's "Everlong" kicks in on his stereo.

  Matt turns up his radio with a grin as he backs out of the abandoned drive way. Backing out to the street, Emma hustles to the car. Pressing on the breaks, she jumps in and 102

  Matt accelerates, blowing by her house. The two make their way out to the main drag for a diner that serves greasy food at a cheap price. Emma slides on her big black sunglasses and lies back in the seat of Matt's high octane vehicle. Listening to the song blaring through the car speakers, she is lost in the moment of being with her love.

  The wheels twist with turns off of the neighborhood blocks as Matt steers them towards the main drag. Emma becomes lost in the song's meaning as she smiles at the sun being joined with her lover. She does not stop to think about the stalker like manner in which he arrived earlier. All she can harp on is that she is with him now no matter how he came to her. Brushing every question off with acceptance, Emma does not allow the sickness of Matt's behavior to register. Falling even further for him, she loses herself in the idea of her total escape. As the radio explodes with the familiar song, the car races to a place of Matt's choice.

  Without the care of concern, Emma relaxes in the breeze that flows through the rolled down widows. Smiling with closed eyes to the wind; it caresses her face as it blows through her hair.

  The day has moved slowly for Donnie, it has been just he and Kelly as the orders have been few. Staring at the phones and constantly staring at the clock, Donne cannot wait to be at home. His high has long since worn off, leaving him back to where he was earlier; battling with his jealousy. He keeps his cool and says nothing to Kelly while he wears a fake smile and pretends everything is fine. Kelly knows that there is something wrong with him; she sees glimpses of this cracking through phony facade. She notices his nervous twitch, looking to the clock and fiddling with his cell phone.

  Once the time comes for Donnie to leave, he simply says

  "bye" to Kelly on his way out of the door. She watches him walk to his car, wondering what she might have done to upset him. As he stomps away, she tells herself that he is probably 103

  in one of his famous moods. There are times when Donnie
is laughing and with a sudden shift, he becomes morose. With the drop of a dime, he goes from being content to being distraught. Situations such as these are not so few and far between regarding Donnie. This shift happens so often, that it is almost natural to expect it from him. Shrugging off her puzzlement, she answers the pizzeria's ringing phone.

  Leaving the pizza place behind, Donnie races as fast he can towards his apartment. However, the more he thinks about Parker and Kelly, the more he wants to lash out at Parker. Gripping the steering wheel, he continues to revel in his emotions, feeding his rage. Donnie makes a sudden right turn, squealing his tries on to Parker's street. Not caring that he is going ten miles over the speed limit in a residential area, he combs over what he is going to do when he gets there.

  Looking over to his speedometer, his eyes grow at how fast he is going. Applying pressure to the brakes, he tries to regain his cool as the needle lowers in the gauge.

  Coming up to Parker's house, Donnie slows his car to a stop. He looks out at the house, wondering what he should do.

  Temptation arises in him with a fire in his stomach, the urge to storm in and start pounding on Parker. Fantasies of reasonless violence against his friend run wild through his head. As if he can heal himself by punching away the pain of his rejection. Sliding the car into park, Donnie sits back and breathes heavily through his nose. Holding back from his brash actions, he second guesses himself. Losing himself in breaths, he questions whether or not he could go through with beating up his best friend.

  As he stares at the house, he reminded himself of a time when Parker had come to his rescue. It was quite some time back at one of Parker’s parties. Donnie had too much drink and smoke, finding himself hitting on the wrong girl at the wrong time while Parker was conversing with some guys in the kitchen. The girl in question had been hitting on Donnie 104

  most of the night, drunk and shooting him the kind of blatant signals that any warm blooded man could read.

  Out of nowhere, this girl's ogre-like boyfriend appeared at the house looking for his woman. He was high on coke, fueled by testosterone, and ready to hand Donnie a merciless beating. Catching a glimpse of this guy pushing on Donnie, Parker ran out of the kitchen and intervened. Stepping between the two, Parker explained to the jilted lover that Donnie had no idea that she was taken and that she had arrived with some of her girl friends. Parker talked the guy down and made him leave the party without a touch of violence. In the end, he saved Donnie from a potentially gruesome beating at the hands of raging coke head.

  Donnie thinks about these moments of the past, reminding himself what kind of friend he really has. These two have been through too much together for him to wade through his home like a gorilla and try to tear him apart. They have had their ups and downs, but they have always had each other's backs. Thinking about what he wanted to do, a cold feeling curdles in his stomach. He thinks about how he was about to sacrifice this friendship for a girl he does not have the guts to tell how he really feels.

  Sliding the car out of park, Donnie pulls away from Parker’s house and gives up what he now sees as a meaningless fight. Sighing to the realization of a sound thought, he decides to leave the situation alone. This moment of clarity leaves him feeling weakened as he was on the verge of destroying his friendship with Parker. Lighting a half smoked joint, Donnie presses down on the gas and makes his way back home.

  105

  CHAPTER 13

  Leaving the road side diner, Matt takes Emma to a place where they can be alone—an abandoned graveyard. The old grave yard just off of US-1 is rumored to be a lot of things by the area residents. Some say it was once a burial site for slaves and others claim is was a resting place for confederate soldiers. For Matt, the history does not matter so much to him—this is just a place where he comes to clear his head and to be alone. This area is hidden off of the main road and shrouded by brush. Passers-by cannot see in and you can barely see their headlights through the unkempt foliage that surrounds the area.

  There is not much left of the cheap grave markers, the concrete has all but crumbled and turned into dust. Unread-able last names faded into the withered remains of the head stones. In a total of thirty spots, there are only fifteen makers that left. Emma walks around inspecting the macabre scene as 106

  Matt relaxes and gives her the run down from the rumor mill.

  He tells her about the stories that people spun when he was kid, how if you went in you would never walk out. Every town has their urban legends, you hear these tales when you are young—when everything seems to be so plausible. This is before you grow up to walk in the shoes of the disappointed idealist.

  Emma laughs, "Well, every place has their stories, don't they?"

  "Yeah, pretty much…" Matt takes a drag from his smoke and continues, "Really, I was never scared of this place… it's like I knew better, you know?"

  "I would have been scared to death."

  "I was never scared in that way because I knew that none of that hocus pocus is true."

  Looking at him with a smirk, Emma comments, "This is coming from a guy who gets off on blood play?"

  Matt shrugs, "Blood is of the earth. Like flesh, it's something you can touch. Ghosts and goblins are all bullshit.

  They’re just fantastic tales to tantalize the minds of young kids by scarin’ the shit out of them."

  Emma shakes her head at Matt's statement, "I believe in ghosts… I've seen them with my own eyes."

  "Yeah, sure you have…" Matt says in a condescending tone.

  "Hey, don't patronize me. I have seen ghosts. I saw them when I was a kid."

  Matt leans over on to a head stone and says, "Alright…

  so tell me about it?"

  Knowing that Matt is just going to make fun of her, Emma declines to open up, "No. Fuck you. You're just gonna laugh at me and give me shit."

  Matt sighs with a smile, "Oh, the plight of being a believer."

  "See? You're being a dick…"

  "Come on, I'm just playing around.” 107

  Dropping her guard, Emma caves and tells him her story,

  "Well, when I was a little, I grew up in Panama City. We lived like two blocks away from the inlet, so that was where we used to hang out. One night Kelly left me there by myself and this man came up to me, wearing a fedora and a trench coat."

  Pausing for a moment, Kelly sits on the ground and continues, "The closer he got, the more scared I was. I mean, I was so young then and I just wanted to go home. When he came up to me, he asked in a deep voice, 'what's wrong little girl?' For some reason my fears were pushed away and I felt this warmth as he spoke to me. He held his out to mine and I put my hand in his. He told me 'come with me, I'll walk you home…' I felt safe with him, like he would protect me from anything, y'know?"

  Getting caught up in her story Emma pauses again and takes a deep breath. Breathing out, she goes on, "Walking closer to the trailer park, I see my sister, who is running up to me. Seeing this, the man says nothing… we just kept walking. I tell him who she is, that she is nice and she will like him. Finally, my sister reaches us; she tells me mom is worried, dad isn't home yet and so on. Once she finishes, I try to introduce her to my new friend. She looked at me so weird and said 'there's no one there, dummy!' When I looked up I suddenly felt his hand leave from mine and no one was there… he was gone."

  Matt tries to be nice and not laugh, but he cannot help but come off as facetious, "Wow, that's a great story Em, but…"

  He starts laughing without control.

  Emma lowers her eyes and shakes her head in disappointment, "See, this is why I keep things to myself…"

  "Oh, Em, exploit that wonderful sense of humor that you have?!"

  Seeing that she is upset, Matt collects himself and wanders over to her, "Look babe, I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in that sort of stuff… ya know?"

  108

  Looking up at Matt with a smirk, she replies, "Well, I suppose I can forgive your barbaric ways just this o
nce."

  Moving in, he kisses her lips and draws back with slight nibble on her bottom lip. She puts her arms around Matt and places her heavy head on his chest. Closing her eyes, Matt asks, "Do you wanna stay the night here?"

  Emma wants to say that she would like to spend the night amongst the spooky scenery, but her inhibitions refuse to allow her to do so. Her stuttering kicks in as she fights past her mental wall, "Well, uh, wh, wha, what if someone sees us?"

  Matt says, "Don't be silly, no one comes around here…

  this place is as dead as people that are buried here."

  "… then where will we sleep?"

  With confidence, Matt answers, "I have a tent in the trunk…"

  Emma looks at him with raised eye brows, "You drive around with a tent in your trunk?"

  "You never know when you might need it. I need to get some other things like a cooler and beer… so we should get goin'."

  Holding herself back from questioning her lover further, Emma agrees with a nervous smile. As big of a horror fan that she is, she shivers at the thought of spending the night in an abandoned cemetery. Being a staunch believer in the spirit world, Emma feels that this could be viewed as disrespect by the souls who wander those hallowed grounds. Knowing Matt's views on the subject, she knows that if she tells him how she really feels he would most likely just laugh at her again. Avoiding being his little punch line, she keeps her opinions to herself and plays along. Following Matt's lead, she gets in the car to go shopping for their special night together.