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After their cups of coffee, Kelly takes Ophelia to the grocery store down the street. As Kelly drives, Ophelia asks,
"Do ya think your sister went to that interview?"
Kelly shrugs, "Didn't really talk to her about it and I really don't care… she's gonna do what she wants, like we're gonna do what we want."
"I just want her to grow up more than what she has..."
"Yeah, well, she has some boy friend now so that’s what she is concerned with."
Doing a double take, Ophelia asks, "What?"
"Yeah, she's met this older guy… they were at the party I was at."
"How much older is he?"
"Late 20's…"
Ophelia shakes her head and lights cigarette, "I hope she knows what she's doin'."
"That's all you have to say?"
"What the hell else can I say? If I tell 'er not to see 'em, she'll just do it anyway. So what am I supposed to fuckin’ do here?!"
"I don’t know. There's somethin' about this guy that isn't right, Mom."
With a sigh, Ophelia says, "All men are fucked up, sweetie… it’s just in their nature to be man-children with erections."
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"Mom, I'm being serious…"
"So am I."
Ignoring her mother’s light-hearted candor, Kelly stresses, "Really, I think this guy is some kind of a weirdo."
"Do you actually know anything about this guy?"
"Yeah, I've heard things from a few of my friends who've known him for awhile."
Ophelia scoffs, "Come on, we live in a small town…
everyone knows everyone and gossip runs like toilet water, Hun. This aint like livin' in Lauderdale, people in smaller towns have nothin' better to do than talk shit and watch the grass grow."
Taking a drag from her cigarette, Ophelia continues,
"Besides, Emma's always bringing home strange creatures...
this is nothin' new."
Kelly keeps her attention on the road as she wonders if she is just over reacting about her sister's new boy friend. She tells herself that she needs to worry about her own problems and let Emma live her life. However, Kelly cannot shake the gut feeling that Matt could be dangerous. As much as she wants to tell her mother more, she chooses to leave it alone.
After all, no matter what she says, Ophelia will just shrug it off. Most of what Emma does is brushed off by her mother as she focuses on Kelly. The way Kelly sees it; it is as if Emma is given a free pass while she is expected to go above and beyond. This is viewed with a mix of disdain and confusion by Kelly, because she does not understand why her mother treats her sister like a helpless infant.
Sitting against the head board of her bed, Emma reads one of her books while she wonders when she is going to see Matt again. She does not care to see that this stranger's essence infiltrates her every thought. Falling fast, she ignores the warning signs that have always led her on the road to heart break. Without concern, she becomes warm with her yearn to kiss his lips again. Reading a part in her book where 43
the main character is in the throes of loving embrace in the arms her Vampyric lover. Emma imagines herself in the same scenario with Matt as he pulls her close and kisses her passionately—cradling her in his arms.
Taken in by this scene, her right hand caresses the soft flesh of her inner thigh beneath her dress. Continuing to kiss her, Matt's hands savagely run up her body to her full breasts.
Her fingers inch towards her lusting crotch as she closes her eyes; slipping into a deep fantasy. Slipping her hand through the side of her panties, she enters herself slowly and sensually. In her mind, she imagines her body grinding against the bulge in his pants as she explores his body through her finger tips. Dropping the book on the floor, her left hand runs up her baggy t-shirt. Grabbing her soft breast, she massages her nipple as she fingers her wet, gapping warmth.
Lost in her self-satisfying state, she dreams of Matt laying her down upon an ocean of romantic motions. He is her god; penetrating every ounce of her being with physical and soulful gratification. Thoughts of the stranger entering her with ease and experience turns Emma orgasmic. In her mind, he knows her every point of satisfaction and exploits them to her pleasure. As she moans and pants heavily in her heated moment, she visions her dark lover doing everything right. At the brink of her release, she makes her movements faster. Passing the threshold of pleasure, she lets out a scream that fills the empty house.
Catching her breath as she basks in the afterglow, she sees Matt in a different light. She tells herself that in their first sacred moment, he will be dream-like in his perfor-mance. As Emma lies down in the comfort of her bed, she coos to the thought of being in his arms. Shivering on top of her sheets, she smiles in tender excitement. With a sigh, she holds herself in the warmth of her projection of Matt's soft side. Though, it is only fantasy, she convinces herself that this 44
part of him exists. This is child-like mindset suspends her in the most beautiful delusions of hope.
Perusing the meat section of the grocery store, Kelly idles with the shopping cart while Ophelia sifts through the hamburger meat.
"Jesus!" Ophelia yells out, "Is it me or has this shit gone up in price?!"
Kelly looks around at the startled glares as she answers,
"Yeah, Mom, the cost of food has been going up…
drastically. It’s called inflation."
"It'd be cheaper to buy a fuckin' cow and slaughter it ourselves!"
As the words leave her mouth, a passing customer gives the two a look of offense. With Ophelia digging through the packaged meats, Kelly is left to shrug at the persons glare.
Frustrated, Ophelia grabs three packages of beef and tosses them in the cart. Moving through the store they pick out goods that they can fix for quick meals. Things like microwavable pressed chicken patties, frozen veggies, and mini pizzas line the cart.
Going through one of the check-out lanes, Kelly unloads the cart as Ophelia looks through her purse for her food stamp card. During these harsh economic times, they are a part of 41.1million Americans who need these cards to put food in their home. With an unemployment rate teetering on twenty percent, this assistance is a safety net for many of the unemployed or under employed. Ophelia pulls the card out, giving a quick glance around her. This is something that she never wanted; to be stuck in a situation where she needed assistance from the state or government to feed herself and her children.
Looking down in embarrassment, she hides the card in the palm of her hand as the clerk scans her items. The clerk looks at Ophelia wearing her dark sunglasses in the store, her eyes focus down towards her arms. She spots the road map of 45
needle pricks in her flesh. Starring at her arms, she continues to scan the items. Feeling the clerk's eyes on her, Ophelia folds her arms uncomfortably. Knowing that she is caught staring, the clerk quickly looks away with a shake of her head. Ophelia wants to say something about the clerk's rude stares, but she keeps it inside.
The goods pile up at the end of the scanner because the store cannot afford to keep bag boys on staff, so the customers usually bag their own groceries. Oblivious to what just transpired, Kelly slides passed her mother to start bagging up the groceries. Looking over at her mother, she notices that she is hanging her head. Confused, she looks over at the clerk who is busy punching in their total.
"That'll be $65.70…"
Ophelia slides the EBT card as Kelly quickly finishes bagging everything up. In hard times like these, six bags of groceries equals to almost seventy dollars. After the clerk hands her the receipt, Ophelia starts to walk out of the store, saying nothing as she passes Kelly. Pushing the cart, Kelly tries to catch up with her mother, confused as what has upset her so suddenly.
"Mom, what's wrong?"
Ophelia's bottom lip trembles as she holds herself back on the verge of tears, "Nothin'…everything's fine."
She keeps the situation to herself, trying to fight the urge to scream out with a stream of tears
. The embarrassment that she feels is the pain that tells her she is doing wrong by her daughters and herself. Ophelia slumps with shame in the passenger side of the car as Kelly loads the bags into the trunk. Looking off towards the distance, she reflects on why she cares so much about what some stranger thinks. As she questions her hurt, all she can think about is going home and losing herself to the needle again.
Ophelia comes through the front door of the house, waking Emma from her short nap. She jumps out of bed and steps out into the living room to see her mother heading down 46
the hall towards her bedroom. Emma immediately knows something is wrong. As Ophelia slams her bedroom door closed, Kelly comes inside carrying the groceries.
"What's wrong with mom?"
Kelly sighs heavily as she sets the bags down on the kitchen counter, "I don't know… she was fine when we were shopping then as we were leaving, she started acting weird...
I'll ask her when she calms down a bit."
Emma moves to speak but is interrupted by her cell phone ringing in her room. She runs to answer it as Kelly shakes her head and mutters, "Nah, I'll put away the food…
you go ahead."
Without looking at the caller ID Emma answers the call,
"Hello?!"
"What's up gorgeous?"
"Hey Matt… what's up?!"
"Nothin'… you wanna go do somethin'?"
With a blushing smile Emma answers, "Sure… what?"
"Whatever you want... I'll be over in an hour to pick you up, a'ight?"
"Yeah… I'll see ya soon!"
Hanging up the phone, Emma runs to her closet in search for something to wear. She pulls out a lacy top and a miniskirt, then tears through her under wear drawer for something sexy. Laying her alluring wears on her bed, she makes her way to the bathroom where she is suddenly stopped by Kelly.
"What's goin' on?"
"Oh, I'm goin' out."
"Are you goin’ out with Matt?"
"Yeah, why are you askin’?"
Kelly shrugs, "No reason, I just thought that since I was off today we could do something."
"Well, maybe your next day off we can hang out?"
"Yeah, maybe…"
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Emma walks in the bathroom and starts the bath water, as Kelly peers around the corner, "I really hope you aren't falling for this guy to fast."
"Jesus! We aren't gonna start this shit again, are we?!"
"No, I don't want to debate. I mean, I'm just looking out for you, ya know?"
With a sigh, Emma says, "Look, I understand where you're comin' from but everything's gonna be fine, alright?
You don't need to worry about me."
She puts her arms around Kelly and gives her a quick squeeze, "If I have any problems with this one, you'll be the first person I come too."
Kelly gives her a smile, "You better…"
"I promise…"
Stepping out of the bathroom, Emma closes the door to take her bath. Kelly laughs to herself as she overhears her sister singing Depeche Mode's "sweetest perfection". Out of tune and off beat, she can be heard from the bathroom over the running water. Cracking a grin at Emma's expense, Kelly pulls cigarette from her pack. Lighting her cancer stick, she dials a number on her phone as she takes a drag.
"Donnie, are you workin' today? Cool, I'm comin' over…
I need a drink."
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CHAPTER 7
When Matt arrives to pick up Emma, she is waiting outside the front of her house for him. Her heart jumps giddily as her nerves form an awkward smile upon her face.
He pulls into the driveway and reaches over to open the door for her. Emma slides in and gives Matt a quick kiss on the cheek.
"You look amazing…"
"Thanks…" She says, unable to wipe the grin from her face.
"Eh, who says chivalry is dead?"
Emma shrugs, "So, where're we goin'?"
"I want a burger…"
"Sounds good…"
Matt backs out of the drive way swiftly, making a sudden turn onto the street. He leaves a nasty burn out on the road before accelerating away from Emma's house. There is never a point in this kind of maneuver other than to irritate someone 49
or to tickle the easily impressed. For Matt it is simply the ladder.
Driving Emma across town, he takes her to a sports bar just off of highway US-1called the Beef & Beer Grill. A fun hole in the wall with televisions to watch sports on and a menu full of food that is destined to ruin your diet plan. The restaurant is set up with wall to wall booths and a few loose tables set up in between with just enough room for their waitresses uniformed in short-shorts to squeeze by.
The couple walks in and takes a seat at a booth off to the side. With the place being almost empty minus two old men sitting at the bar, a waitress scurries over to take their drink order. Matt orders a draft beer and Emma orders an iced tea with a lemon wedge.
"How was your night last night?" Matt asks leaning back.
Emma looks through the menu and replies, "Not bad…
just read one of my books, you?"
"Eh, I went home and went to sleep."
"Jesus, is there anything on here that won't give me a fatter ass?!"
Matt shrugs, "There's nothin' wrong with a big rump…
most men like 'em big and round whether they want to admit it or not."
Rolling her eyes, Emma scoffs, "Oh please… men like skinny girls, like in swim suit magazines."
"Not all men…" Matt remarks with a sensual echo as he looks Emma in the eyes, "Not me."
Blushing, she grins, "Knock it off…"
She catches herself acting like, what she refers to as "a geek" and tires to stop. Emma is not used to hearing compliments such as these, especially so frequent. The man-children she has surrounded herself with could only criticize her about her looks and compare her to models that they fancied. So caught up with what others thought while they would pretend that they did not care, left Emma as an innocent victim. These were not her short comings; these 50
issues belong to those who projected them. Regardless, the more you are told something, the more likely you are to believe it.
As the waitress brings them their drinks, another couple walks into the restaurant, "Hello, just have a seat wherever you'd like, I'll be with ya in a minute." The two walk past Emma and Matt's booth, sitting in one catty-corner from them.
Sipping from his cold draft, Matt tells Emma, "You need to stop being so hard yourself. You're a beautiful girl and you need to start believing that."
Rolling her eyes again, she pretends to focus her attention back to the menu.
"No, I'm serious, Emma… you shouldn't have any doubts about how you look."
Dropping the menu, she looks at Matt with a smirk and replies with a sigh, "I'll work on it, okay?"
"There ya go."
As the two are smiling at one another, a voice is heard from the other booth, "Matt?"
In mid sip, Matt casually shifts his eyes in the direction of the female voice. His eyes shift back to Emma as he finishes taking his sip. Emma asks, "Are you going to reply to her? I mean, she's obviously talking to you."
"Nah… I don't wanna talk to her."
Confused, Emma asks, "So, you're just gonna ignore her?"
With a shrug, Matt replies, "Sure, why wouldn't I? I don’t know her."
Annoyed with being ignored in such an obvious manner, the strange girl gets up and pulls away from her boyfriend who tries to stop her. Now standing less than two feet away from him, Matt continues to disregard her as she burns holes into him with her eyes.
"What the fuck is up with you, Matt? Don't wanna talk to me?"
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Staring at the wall across from him, he takes a gulp from his beer. Emma watches in confusion, hoping that she is not dragged into this strange situation. The girl glares at Matt as her boyfriend comes up from behind her, "You can't deny what you did to me… you just can't you fucking pie
ce of shit!"
As the boyfriend tries to pull her away, the waitress walks over to the troubled booth with the manager. The Manager looks at the raving girl and says, "I'm gonna have ta ask ya to leave."
"Fuck that! I aint goin' anywhere!"
"Yeah ya are, Darlin'… now you move out now or I'm callin' the cops."
She pauses for a moment to assess the situation and says,
"Okay, we're leavin'…"
Before walking by Matt, she stops and remarks, "You can't run away from your past adventures forever, asshole."
After a short glare at Matt, she turns to Emma and remarks,
"And you…"
Emma looks at her with a dose of confusion in her eyes as the strange girl tells her, "Be careful with this one… he'll break your heart and leave you in pieces."
The angry girl then grabs her boy friend by the hand and storms out of the restaurant. Matt takes another gulp from his beer and comments with a slight nod of his head, "There are crazy people everywhere… especially in a small town."
Emma shakes her head, "What was that all about?"
Matt shrugs, "Just some girl…"
After a long pause, she gives Matt a puzzled look and asks, "That's it? She's just some girl?!"
"Yeah… she's just some girl who I'd seen a few times a long while back. She wanted more from me, I didn't and that's that."
Judging Matt's demeanor she could tell that there was something more to the story, possibly much more. There was something that Matt was hiding from her and by the way he is 52
acting, she only thinks of the worst. He just stares outside of the color stained window, saying nothing, just taking quick sips from his beer. As much as she wants to pry, she does not want to upset him again. Mustering everything in her power to ignore the obvious again, she wonders how many times she will have to go through this with him. With a couple sips through her straw, she reluctantly changes the subject to keep Matt happy.
On the other side of town, Kelly is at Donnie's single bedroom apartment. She sits on the couch drinking a screwdriver as he rolls a joint. Donnie's place is a straight up bachelor pad, posters cover the walls and the furniture looks as if it was picked up off of a curb. The food he has in the cupboards ranges from quick-fix flavored noodles to potato chips and peanut butter. His fridge is almost barren minus the few condiments, some sodas, and stale pizza. Within his freezer sits half empty ice cube trays and ninety-nine cent frozen dinners.