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  Emma's nerves react, sending startling vibrations through her.

  When she tries to move away from the wall, Matt strengthens his grasp and slams her backwards. Starting into her eyes, he tells her, "I love you more than all of the pain that this world has to offer and I will not live without you."

  As the hours pass by, Kelly is well into her second pack of cigarettes while she comes down from pulling her hair out.

  She has driven all over town as well as called everyone she knows who has any kind knowledge of about Matt. Calling off of work, Kelly has spent the better part of her day desperately looking for her sister. In the serenity of her bed room, she pours herself a shot of rum and downs it. Exhaling with the burn, she chases the flavor with a long drag from her smoke. Her nerves start to relax as she sits back in her desk chair. Pouring another shot, she hopes this is the one that does the job as she gulps it. Waiting for the feeling that she craves to kick in, she wonders if she should tell her mother about Emma and Matt's twisted relationship.

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  While Ophelia hordes her own problems in the next room, Kelly feels guilty about hiding her sister's situation from her. Since they were children, Emma and Kelly have always had a special bond—a bond that they kept from their mother. The two would keep the secret of one another and always look each other without Ophelia's intervention. No matter what kind of trouble the other was in, it was always dealt with between the two. As silly as it seems when we get older, these are things that draw siblings closer when they are growing up. These are the childhood rituals that seem to mean so much when we are young, crossed fingers and pinky swears over crossed hearts.

  When Ophelia and Kelly stood in front of Emma's open window, Kelly came up with every excuse to cover for her sister. Even though Ophelia could read her as easy as a cheap novel, Kelly persisted that she did not know where her sister had gone in such secrecy. A pinky swear over a crossed heart are the kinds of habits that die the hardest. As much as she knows that she should break her bond, Kelly wrestles with herself. Despite the fact that her sister is in a volatile relationship with a sociopath, she cannot help but feel that she would be betraying Emma's trust, even if it means potentially saving her life.

  Catching her off guard, Ophelia walks into her room without knocking. She flings the door open and stands at the threshold, "I know ya know something and I want ya to tell me what it is."

  "Jesus Mom!"

  "Don't you Jesus me… your sister ran off through her bedroom fucking window and I want to know why."

  Without a care, Kelly sighs and pours a glass of rum in front of her mother. Speechless, Ophelia watches her and shakes her head in disappointment. Taking a sip of her liquid courage in front of her mother, Kelly decides to let the cat out of the bag regardless of her promise. She tells her mother all about Matt and the rumors that circle around town about him.

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  Kelly then spills her guts about the night before, about how he tried to set Emma ablaze and she had to come to her rescue. After everything was laid out to Ophelia, she had to sit down to let it all sink in.

  Thoughts rush through Ophelia's head in rapid bursts, posing the question if she was a failure to her youngest. So many men that were no good had come and gone from Ophelia's life that she wonders if Emma's situation is somehow her fault. In silence, she ponders if she was a staple of example that her daughter followed into various pitfalls.

  Kelly sips from her warm rum and she lights another cigarette; waiting awkwardly for her mother to say something in response. Ophelia stares blindly at the wall, her body limp in the cogs of deep thought.

  Finally she says, "This is my fault…"

  Confused, Kelly asks, "What d'ya mean?"

  Ophelia explains, "All those years of pigs that I'd bring home set into her… they set into you too, but where you stayed away from men, Em just fell for every loser that would give her the time."

  "That's bullshit. Em is the way she is because she thinks she'll find love in the arms of a tall dark stranger, like in those books she reads. She's weak because of herself, not the guys that you've dated."

  "But what Dillon did was…"

  "Mom, fuck what Dillon did! She doesn't even remember that shit! Em wants to live in a fantasy world and this Matt guy is the closest that she thinks she'll ever come to it!"

  Running her fingers through her hair, Ophelia sighs, "I can't help but blame myself for all of this."

  Kelly puffs on her smoke as she tries to choose her words carefully and keep calm. With all of the stress that is going on, the last thing she wants to do is further upset her mother.

  It is hard for her to hold her tongue because there is so much that she wants to say; things that could cause Ophelia further worries. Before Kelly can say anything else, Ophelia stands 156

  up from the edge of her bed and walks out of the room, saying nothing. Looking at her strangely, Kelly watches her mother leave with a ghostly expression on her face, closing the door behind her.

  Walking back into her room, Ophelia sits on her bed and lights a cigarette. In this moment alone she takes subtle drags as she reflects on what kind of role model she has been to her daughters. Thinking back on the slew degenerates that she had in and out of her life, the blame rests heavy on her shoulders. She tells herself that if it was not for her, Emma would have been so much better off. Taking the actions of others to claim her own, she holds the guilt of what Dillon had done to her daughter. While she beats herself up, she pines for an answer to how she can fix what has been damaged for so long—her relationship with her daughters.

  Suddenly her cell phone rings, tearing her away from her thoughts. Ophelia looks at the caller ID and it reads "Private Number". She knows who is calling her and because of that she is reluctant to answer. Listening to the droning ring, she is hit with an epiphany. Glowing with this fresh idea, she answers the phone, "Hello?"

  It sounds as if Dillon is speaking from a teetering pay phone on the other side. His soft rasp mixes with static, "Hi Ophelia…"

  Taking a deep breath, Ophelia answers, "Hello Dillon…"

  "Ah, so you do answer? Well, I'm in your area and I'd like to see you… and the girls."

  Shuddering on the inside, Ophelia keeps a rough exterior,

  "Sure, but I want to meet you alone first... we have some things to talk about."

  A soft cackle spews from Dillon's mouth before he says,

  "Sounds good, where do you want to meet?"

  Taken off guard, Ophelia pauses as her brain freezes in its tracks. Thinking on her feet, she stutters, "Uh, um how about Jay Cee Park… the one by the beach?"

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  "Sounds good, baby… you gonna be lookin' sexy for me?"

  "Look, just meet me there at 9pm sharp, okay?"

  Dillon laughs, "You really need to ease up… I just want to be close, ya know?"

  Rolling her eyes, Ophelia replies, "Yeah, I know what ya mean be close."

  "Hey, I'm a different man now…"

  "Really… so, that's why you called me with threats and curses?!"

  Laughing at Ophelia again, Dillon retorts, "Come on, baby… you know I was only tryin' to get your attention, right?"

  "Look Dillon, just meet me at Jay Cee and we'll talk there… now's not the time."

  Before Dillon can reply, Ophelia hangs up the phone and tosses on to her night stand. Breathing herself into a serene mind set, she attempts to find her center without taking the chemical horse for a ride. As much as she wants to shoot up, she has been two days sober and wants to see how far she can go without relying on the crutch. Fighting the urge, she lights another cigarette and lies on her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she comes to grips with the fact that she is about to come face to face with her real life nightmare.

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  CHAPTER 19

  The clock hits 8pm and Donnie is alone at the pizzeria.

  He has sat for hours by himself, preparing only five orders all day. With Kelly calling out, he could
not get anyone else to fill in for her. For Donnie, the day has been long and hellish ordeal. Lost in the slow drain of time, Donnie decides to give the finger and close up shop early. As he cuts the lights and exits, the phone starts ringing—stopping him in his tracks.

  Saying, "Fuck it" he slams the door and locks it on the annoying tone of the phone. Donnie stomps off towards his car as he tries to put his horrible day far behind him.

  Getting into his car, he has the idea that Kelly is over at Parker's house. Snarling at the thought of sticking him to shack up with his friend, he starts his car and speeds out of the parking lot of the empty shopping plaza. He peels out, 159

  cutting off an oncoming car as he jumps on the main road.

  Donnie's blood begins to boil as he makes his way to Parker's house. In his mind, the scene of him unleashing his rage plays out rightfully. Blasting angry music that suits his mood, he grips his steering wheel as he prepares himself for tearing down Kelly in front of Parker. Gritting his teeth, he tells himself, "If Parker steps in then I'm gonna beat the ever lovin'

  shit out of him!"

  Even though he was going to leave the situation alone, it has boiled within him to the point that he needs to do something. Donnie parks his car on the side of Parker's house and walks up to the front door. Taking a few breaths, he rings the door bell to be courteous as he whispers himself, "Don't do shit, keep calm and take it as it comes… maintain your cool, man." Parker opens the door, catching Donnie breathing heavily and asks, "Donnie? Are you alright?"

  Shrugging it off, Donnie answers, "I'm fine… can I come in?"

  "Sure, sure… come on in." Parker steps aside and let's Donnie in as he wonders what he is doing there. Walking in, Donnie asks, "Have you seen Kel?"

  Shutting the door, Parker answers, "Nah, I haven't talked to her since last night, why?"

  "Well, she didn't come into work today."

  "Okay, so you're hunting people down who call out now?

  Is this some new company policy?"

  Donnie snaps, "Don't get fuckin' cute with me!"

  "Hey, don't come into my home and start fuckin' yellin' at me… you wanna start that shit, you can hit the fucking bricks."

  "Are you fuckin' her?!"

  Stepping back, Parker glares at Donnie, "Excuse me?!"

  "I said, 'are you fuckin' her?!'"

  Taken back, Parker shouts, “… and if I am, what the hell is it too you?!”

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  Stepping up into Parker's face, Donnie huffs with, "You knew I wanted her…"

  "What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't know that!"

  "Bullshit!"

  As Donnie backs away to take a couple of breaths, Parker asks him, "If this was the case, then why didn't you say anything to me?"

  While Donnie's back is turned to him, Parker tells him, "I can't stop seeing her… I love her."

  Without warning, Donnie spins around and grabs Parker.

  He slams him against the wall and yells, "You can't lover her!

  I fuckin' love her!"

  Thinking fast, Parker head butt's Donnie and his forehead makes contact with the edge of his nose—breaking it on impact. Donnie grabs his face in shock, blood spurts to floor as he backs away. Parker dodges away with his guard up as Donnie howls in pain. Holding his nose, Donnie screams,

  "You broke my nose! You broke my fuckin' nose, you asshole!"

  Parker inches away, saying nothing as he looks on at his writhing friend in shock. Grabbing paper towels from the kitchen counter, he fills them with ice from the front of his fridge. Balling up the tissue around the cubes, he hands it to Donnie. Ripping the cold wrap from Parker's giving hand, Donnie places it on the butt of his nose. Backing into the kitchen, Parker pours a whiskey shot and slams it down as Donnie takes a seat at the table. Taking out another glass, he pours a shot for Donnie. He walks it over and sets it down in front of his wounded friend. Watching Donnie take the shot, Parker asks, "What the hell are we doin' here?"

  Shaking off the burn from the whiskey, Donnie shrugs, "I don't know… women make us men do weird shit."

  Taking the seat across from Donnie, Parker sets the bottle down in front of him and confesses, "I think I'm falling for her…"

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  With a sigh, Donnie moves the ice pack from his face and grabs the bottle from in front of Parker. Pouring another round into both of their glasses, he downs his shot and replies, "So be it… just treat her right, she deserves it after all she's been through."

  "I'm gonna do my best for her. I'm not gonna bullshit you… she is someone special to me."

  Lifting the rim of his shot glass to his lips, Parker can tell that Donnie gave his blessing reluctantly. Before this escapade, he had a hunch that Donnie liked Kelly. Sadly, it took a scuffle for him to truly see that Donnie is in love with her. One thing that Donnie does not know is, Parker kept his distance as long as he could before taking his chance. In back of his mind, Parker knows that this is going to be a damper on their relationship as whole. Sipping his whiskey, Parker comes to grips with the harsh reality that this is not the end of this situation. He is left to face the fact that he may have choose between his love for Kelly or his friendship with Donnie.

  Kelly walks around the house alone, drinking and listening to The Kinks on full blast. Ophelia left without saying a word and Emma has been gone since her covert escape through the window. She is sloppily drunk and haphazardly singing along to the words of their song I'm not like everybody else. Going from rum shots over ice, to mixers, she is now simply gulping from the bottle as she chain smokes cigarettes and drunkenly dances. Trying to forget the problems that surround her for a single moment, she loses herself in the music.

  In the midst of slugging another shot from her bottle, Emma walks into the house. Pulling he lips from the flow of rum, Kelly gets an eye full of her sister. Wrapped in many layers of clothing, she has a cut on her cheek and she staggers as if she has been up for days. Kelly slams her bottle down on the coffee table, runs into her room and turns off her music.

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  Rushing back out to her sister, she takes a closer look at her.

  Pulling the jacket off of her in the middle of the kitchen, she sees that she has cuts up and down her arms.

  Emma hangs her head as Kelly looks on in awe, "What the fuck happened to you?!"

  "Nothin', I'm fine!"

  "You look like you fell into a paper shredder!"

  Pulling away from Kelly, Emma yells, "You wouldn't understand!"

  Looking at her sister as if she does not know her, Kelly takes a step back and asks, "What the hell is happening to you?"

  Frantically stripping down to her bra and panties, Emma exposes the marks that Matt has left on her. There are cuts on her stomach and her arms with bite marks on her neck and shoulders. Kelly's body goes limp in horror as she looks at the mess her little sister has been transformed into. A scarred palate for someone else's gruesome design, Emma bares her wounds with a sickly pride. Remembering her sister as the pale skinned angel at the age of six, Kelly can do nothing more than show a stunned expression at the slashed monument she has become.

  Getting closer to her sister, Kelly runs her fingers along the scars on her arms. Wide eyed and with her mouth agape in awe, Kelly gasps while Emma grins at her posturing.

  Emma says, "This is just flesh and we are exploring so much that is beyond this.”

  Kelly steps back and replies, "He scarring you… nothing more than that. The guy's a fucked up freak who is trying to control you with pseudo bullshit!"

  Pushing passed Kelly; Emma grabs the bottle from the coffee table and takes a swig from it. Watching her sister in disgust, Kelly ponders what she can say to wake her up from the strange trance she is in. Taking a seat on couch in comfort, Emma swallows another swig of rum. Shaking her head, Kelly asks, "What is going on with you?"

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  Playing coy, Emma responds innocently, "What d'ya mean?"

  "You know what I mean�
�� you jump out of your window, then stroll in here looking like someone used you for a fucking voodoo doll. You act as if it's nothing and that I'm the one with issue."

  Emma sighs, "Oh, you just need to relax. I’m just having fun exploring my sexuality."

  Fed up with her little sister's demeanor, Kelly steps up and yanks her bottle from Emma's hand, "You need to get some rest, because obviously you think you are something you're not."

  Standing up from the couch, Emma looks Kelly in eyes and retorts, "Oh yeah? And what am I not? Tell me… give me a spoonful of your infinite fucking wisdom… tell me what your experience has brought you!

  Snapping back, Kelly says, "Well, it's taught me not to let myself be controlled by a psycho!"

  Emma just stands still in the moment, reflecting on Matt's use of his knives on her. She harps on every cut that he put into her as she convinces herself that their relationship is different from others. Thinking about the pain that Matt makes her feel, she tells herself that these are the means that they must explore to become better people. This pain that he bestows upon her forces her to grow towards an understanding that few can comprehend. This poisoned love is influenced by a poisoned world that is drunk on its own insanity. Matt and Emma are two souls that scream outwards, rebelling against the norm in their deviance against the sanctity of the flesh.

  Lighting a cigarette, Kelly exhales and calmly asks,

  "What about this asshole almost killing you? Did you just write that off?"

  "He was high…"

  "Yeah, I hang out with a lot of people who are high and they've never tried to torch me."

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  Stopped in her tracks of thought, Emma stutters to come up with excuses before exploding, "Well, they, uh, um… it's fucking different!"

  Disappointed, Kelly shakes her and says, "He's brainwashed you… "

  "What?!"

  "Yeah, this sick fuck has you right where he wants you…"