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Emma raises her head higher from the barrowed pillow to see the look on her sister's face.
With an annoyed expression, Kelly answers, "No… just get ready."
Rolling off of the couch and onto her feet, Emma sluggishly looks for her shoes. In the grips of the dreadful mushroom hangover, her head pounds with a severe headache while nausea completely takes her over. The urge to vomit comes and goes as she tries to keep her focus on what she is doing. Finding her shoes in the corner, she plops back down on the couch and drags herself to tie up her boots. Sighing and taking deep breaths, she tries to get her head straight. All she wants to do is lie down and rest comfortably in a cool, dark place.
Kelly sees this and asks smugly, "So, was it worth it?"
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Without skipping a beat, Emma shoots back, "I don't know… you tell me?"
The two slip out of Parker's house on their toes and make their way to Kelly's car. Pulling away from his drive way, Emma asks, "Did you sleep with him?"
"I’ve been sleeping with him…"
Emma smiles at Kelly, "Well, it's about time you got laid."
"That's real nice, Em."
"Jus' sayin…"
Changing the subject, Kelly asks, "So, what are you gonna do about Matt?"
Her eyes shift down towards her lap before looking out of the window. She watches the passing scenery through her dark sunglasses, contemplating. Emma's head throbs as her nausea builds in the midst of having to face the kind of man she is in love with. The night before, she was certain that she could go through with removing him from her life. Unfortunately for Emma, she was under the influence and running high on emotion; these two things hardly ever mix well.
Today her view is different, facing the fear of being alone; she wants to blame Matt's actions with the combination of the drug and alcohol.
Not knowing how to answer, Emma shrugs and replies softly, "I don't know."
"I knew it."
"What?!"
"I knew that you would fuckin' cave in and not do shit…"
"I'm not caving…"
Kelly lights a cigarette and asks with puff of smoke, "Oh really, so are you gonna call the police when we get home?
Are you going to break it off with that asshole?!"
With her eyes wandering around the car, Emma's expressions of silence tell Kelly everything. Disappointed, Kelly takes another pull from her cigarette and shakes her head. In her head she wants to scream with rage at her sister, 144
but she has to keep her cool. She knows if she starts a fight, Emma will just dismiss her every word and defend Matt out of spite. As childish as it may seem, Emma has done this time and time again. Whenever Kelly or Ophelia would give their negative opinions on one of Emma's boyfriends, she would become closer with them just to get back at them.
What Kelly fears is the difference in the current situation from the others. Matt is unlike any other that Emma has been with. While the others in her past simply used her, Matt is a danger to her physically and mentally. Taking heavy drags from her smoke, Kelly wishes that she could just break down and beat some sense into her sister. Instead, Kelly is left to walk a tight rope between protecting Emma and pushing Emma closer to him. If Kelly could get away with it, she would hunt Matt down and kill him for what he did to her little sister.
Pulling into the driveway of their home, Emma breaks the tension by asking, "Can you please not bring mom into this?"
Snuffing out her cigarette, Kelly snaps at her, "What the fuck do you want me to do, Em?!"
Emma answers back with an attitude, "I don't know… let me handle it myself, maybe?"
"This guy is dangerous, he could've killed you and you don't seem to give a shit!"
Grabbing her purse, Emma flings open the car door and fires back, "Do whatever the fuck ya want!"
Leaving Kelly annoyed, Emma slams the car door and stomps towards the house. Kelly watches her walk away as she falls into another tough place because of Emma. Sitting alone in her car, she contemplates what she should do. Once again she finds herself in the compromising position of respecting Emma's wishes or helping her against her will.
With a sigh, she steps out of her car and walks to the house while her head rings in debate. Looking at the time on her cell phone, she sees that she only as a couple of hours before she 145
has to be at work. As much as she wants to go to sleep, she will just have to settle for a cup of coffee.
Walking into the house, Kelly is greeted by Ophelia as she makes her way to the kitchen. She notices the shaken look on her mother's face and asks, "What's wrong?"
Taking a sip from her coffee, Ophelia unconvincingly answers, "Nothing."
"Mom, you look like you've been up all night…"
Ophelia shrugs, "Well, so do you."
Kelly shakes her head as she sets her purse down on the counter. Taking a cup from the kitchen cabinet, she starts filling it with coffee. Ophelia leans against the counter and asks, "How was your night last night?"
Shoveling spoonfuls of sugar into her cup, Kelly answers, "It was um, good…"
"Well, your sister stormed through here and into her room like a bat out of hell."
Kelly rolls her eyes as she takes a sip of coffee, "She'll get over it…"
"You girls should be more friendly to each other…
you're sisters and you're all each have, ya know?"
Rolling her eyes again, Kelly shrugs off Ophelia, "Mom, you're being overly dramatic now… we get along just like sisters do."
Before Ophelia can retort, her cell phone rings from her bedroom. Kelly watches her mother jog to her room to answer her phone as she wonders if she should say anything to her about the predicament she has found herself in. With her mind set on Emma's woes, Kelly takes a seat on the couch and lights a cigarette; paying no attention to anything going on in the next room. Ophelia is frozen with her cell glued to her ear as Dillon taunts her on the other end. He listens to her breathe after catching her off guard, assured in the assumption that he has her right where he wants her.
She fights the urge to reply as he goes on in a rancid tone, "I know where you are… do you know where I am? I 146
know you're there, Ophelia… I can hear you breathin' say somethin' to me."
Thinking about her daughter in the next room, Ophelia hangs up the phone and turns it off. Taking a deep breath, she walks over to her night stand and slides the top drawer open.
She peeks in at her gun that rests beside her personal bible, finding a strange comfort. The sight of the pistol brings a heating glow that chases away the cold touch of her fears.
This warmth replaces the chill that her ex-lover's call had left to linger. Shutting the drawer, Ophelia closes her eyes as she comes to the conclusion that she needs to be open with her daughters. Exhaling a deep breath, she tells herself that she needs to her motherly duty and take away the tarp of relief in the form of honesty.
Walking into the living room, she sits down next to Kelly and says, "We need to talk. I'm gonna tell you some things and you just need to hear me out, okay?"
Kelly gives her a confused gaze and nods, "Yeah, alright…"
Ophelia gets comfortable in her seat on the couch as her daughter's eyes fixate on her, waiting to be told what is going on. She sees that her mother is on edge, leaving Kelly to think the worst. Her initial thoughts in this moment of pending information are that some close is dying or dead. Folding her hands over her knees, Ophelia looks down upon the carpet as she searches for the right words. Kelly takes a sip of coffee and Ophelia comes out with, "Do you remember when we lived in Panama City? You were really young, but…"
With a nod, Kelly replies, "Yeah… why?"
Finding her words, Ophelia takes a deep breath and asks,
"Do you remember Dillon? The man I was with shortly after your father left me?"
As the name leaves her mother's lips, Kelly's head shakes with disgust, "Yeah… I remember that piece of shit.” Confused, Ophelia
questions Kelly, "How do you remember him? I mean, you were so young."
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Giving her mother a cold gaze, Kelly answers, "I remember a lot of things."
Unable to argue with her daughter, Ophelia nervously lights a cigarette as she tries to keep her thoughts straight.
There is a long pause as Ophelia stares off into the corner taking strong pulls from her smoke. A tear rolls down her cheek and she says without subtlety, "The reason why we left is because Dillon was molesting Emma."
Kelly's jaw drops as she turns to look to her mother,
"What?!"
Ophelia bites her bottom lip while squeezing her eyelids shut in an attempt to hold back her tears. Kelly sets down her coffee cup while she glares at her mother, "How do you know this?!"
Taking a deep breath, Ophelia dries her face on the sleeve of her raggedy bathrobe. Collecting herself, she tells Kelly, "I walked in on him with her in the bathroom… he didn't even act shocked, he told me exactly what he was doing and he'd done it before."
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, mom, how could you keep something like this to yourself?!"
"I did the best thing I could think to do, Kel… I packed you girls up and got the hell away from him!"
Running her hands through her hair, Kelly tries to take in everything that she is being told. She wants to explode, but she knows that it will be a waste of energy. Taking several deep breaths she just listens to her mother explain.
"Every time we'd move, it was because of him. Somehow, he'd find where we were at and we would be on the road to another town, another city."
Trying to keep herself from screaming, Kelly stands up and starts pacing around the living room. As the words leave Ophelia's mouth, she watches her daughter's reaction and wonders if she should keep talking. The more she confesses to her, the angrier Kelly becomes. While Kelly's demeanor becomes heavier, Ophelia starts to stutter, "This, uh, was 148
somethin' that I uh, never wanted to you girls to know… I um, felt it was best to uh, just handle it myself, y'know?"
Unable to hold her tongue any longer, Kelly emotions boil over, "So, every fuckin' time we had to pack our shit and haul ass, it was because of this rodent pederast?!"
Ophelia snaps in response, "Keep your voice down… Em doesn't know about this and I'm not sure if I want her too."
Taken back by her mother's words, Kelly asks, "You don't think she needs to know? Don't ya think that maybe this might account for the fuck up's she is always bedding or why she has no interest in being a grown up?"
Sitting forward, Ophelia thinks about what Kelly is telling her. Watching the smoke drift from her cigarette, she quietly ponders how much damage she has caused to her daughter's lives by her secrets. She thinks back on all of those times when she could have done the responsible thing, but found herself being selfish. Feeling Kelly's eyes burn through her, tears surface in Ophelia's eyes once again. A voice in the back of her mind tells her that she has let her girls down for too long. At a loss for words, all she can do is close her eyes to stop herself from crying.
Fed up with seeing her mother's display of self pity, Kelly demands, "You need to go in Em's room right now and tell her everything that you just told me… you can't keep this from her. And if you don't do it, then I'm gonna. So, you make the choice."
Kelly waits impatiently for her mother's answer with her arms folded tight. She sees the shame exude from Ophelia, but Kelly's anger suffocates any sympathy. Harping on all the friends that she had lost and all of the times they started over; Kelly wants to strangle Ophelia. Suddenly Kelly gets her answer; Ophelia shakes her head as she looks down to the ground, "I can't… not today… I have to think…"
"Fuck this!"
Turning her back on her mother, Kelly walks towards Emma's room. All Ophelia can do is watch her daughter 149
disregard her through blurred pupils. As much as she wants to stop her, there is a small part of her that would rather she know through Kelly telling her. Taking the last drag from her smoke, she lights another through a cherry bomb as Kelly knocks on Emma's bedroom door. Snuffing out the butt, she prepares for the worst as Kelly just enters the room.
"Goddamn it!"
Kelly's scream comes from inside of Emma's room.
Ophelia jumps up and jogs over to her daughter, fearing the worst like any mother would. Turning the corner and into the bedroom, Ophelia finds Kelly standing by herself. She is facing an open window in Emma's room as the breeze blows through silk curtains. Through the quickness of the quiet, Emma managed to sneak out. As Ophelia wears an expression of confused shock, Kelly has a feeling of who she is with.
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CHAPTER 18
Emma nervously sits on Matt's couch as he brews a pot of coffee. She questions herself and why she answered his call. Her eyes wander around his dark living room while wonders why she left with him. The car ride to his apartment was unnervingly quiet between the two. Their small talk served as a tiny blanket to cover the eight hundred pound elephant in the room. Matt's actions the night before reveled many things to Emma about him, but she refuses to see him for what he really is.
Matt leans against his counter and says, "I'm sorry I went so crazy last night…"
Looking down at her feet, Emma replies, "You could have killed me."
"I shouldn't have drunk all that beer on top of those shrooms. I knew better than that but…"
Raising her eyes to Matt, "Do you care about me at all?
You set fire to the tent I was in because I wouldn't fuck you in 151
a graveyard… do you understand how fucked up that sounds?!"
Hanging his head, Emma pulls back thinking that his demeanor out of shame. In reality, Matt is holding himself back from screaming at her. His mind flashes with scenes of him picking up a coffee cup and smashing it off of Emma's head. A smile that Emma cannot see curves along his lips for a moment at the violent thought. Wiping the grin away before lifting his head, Matt looks into Emma's eyes and says, "I love you… I never meant to hurt you. It was the drugs, baby… I promise you."
The fake sincerity in his words lulls Emma back to him.
He assures her want to believe that it was the drugs that made him hurt her. She falls for his lines out of some kind of twisted desperation and makes her way around the counter.
Putting her arms around him, she kisses Matt deeply with relieved passion. Matt places his hands on her hips and pulls her in closer to him. Within moments the two start to undress one another. Emma peels off Matt's t-shirt as Matt lifts off her dress. Stepping back, Matt puts his fingers over Emma's lips and walks to his bathroom. Emma turns her head to the sudden sound of water coming from the bathroom.
Matt steps out from around the corner and asks, "I need a shower… wanna join me?"
Unhooking her bra, Emma answers, "Sure… I need one too."
Sliding her panties off, Emma struts towards Matt with lust lacing her movements. As Matt watches her come to him seductively, he thinks about that timid girl that he met at the Italian Garden who could barely make eye contact. He smiles at the thought of what she has become, opening up herself enough to be his perfect sexual counterpart. Even though she is more open with her desires, she still holds tight to her low self esteem on the inside. Seeing through her sensual exterior, Matt thrives on her weakness. His twisted grin reflects the fact that he has her right where he wants her. Emma is his 152
fantasy that has come to life, his own Raggedy Ann doll that he can abuse in any way that he wishes.
When she gets closer, Matt grabs her by her hair and pulls her into him. He stares into her eyes as she quivers in his grasp, softly panting. Matt forcefully kisses her and then he suddenly yanks her away. Sidestepping, he drags passed the threshold into of his bedroom and turns her around.
Pushing her against the wall, Matt reaches for a pocket knife on his dresser. Holding her steady, he runs the blade softly along the small of her back. Closing her eyes, she shudders as she feels the sensations of
the cold steel prickle on her soft skin. Feeding off of her nervous energy, Matt runs the knife up the middle of her back as he clinches her hair into a ball within his fist.
Taking the blade away from her body, Matt moves into her and bites her on the back of her neck. At first he starts with a nibble and slowly works his teeth into a vicious gnaw.
Emma gasps as she her body tightens, fighting the awful pain to impress her assailant. Releasing his jaws, blood slowly puddles within the incisor wound. Pulling her by her hair, Matt turns her around and pushes her back against the wall.
Letting go of her hair, he puts his hand around her throat and starts to caress her stomach with the small knife. Wanting to ease the ache of the fresh wound on her neck, she holds back the urge with her eyes closed tight.
It is said that a human bite can be more dangerous than that of an animal. The types of bacteria and viruses contained in the human mouth out number most species; Periodonitis, gingivitis, leukoplakia, lichen planus. In this moment, Emma remembers these teachings from grade school as she tries to pretend to be intoxicated by the rush. Listening to the shower run in the background, Emma loses herself in the throbbing aftermath. This infliction numbs every other sensation as it takes over her being. No matter how much she tries to take her mind away from it, the wound seems to over bear all else.
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Matt's grip tightens around her throat as he brushes her cheek with edge of his blade. In a soft yet demanding tone, Matt says, "Look at me…"
Emma's eyes slowly crack open, peering into Matt's pupils. Giving her another squeeze, he gets louder, "Look at me!"
Her eyes open wider as he grins at her mischievously.
Moving in closer to her ear, he whispers, "If I wanted too, I could end you right now. You know that, right?"
Gasping for air, Emma nods in compliance and Matt continues, "Don't you ever run from me… there's no place that you can hide where I won't find you."
Pausing, Matt relishes in the fear that surfaces in Emma's twitches. He takes the knife and slowly runs the blade jaggedly down her side. Cutting her softly, the steel makes a slight trail of red. Suddenly, he draws the knife away from her flesh and stabs it into the wall less mere inches from head.